my random thoughts

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February 2019

The Five Horrible Days

This is the next part of this post.

Never in my life it crossed my mind that my baby would be hospitalised, again. The first time was when she was only 5 days old, due to a high bilirubin level. She was only hospitalised one night that time, but it was already a nightmare for me. I could barely sleep that day.

Then that other day came. The day when Jean relapsed.

Well actually the day when the doctor told us that Jean was okay and we were to continue her home treatment, she had a mild fever, like 37,7 C. See, really mild. She was regaining her appetite and vigour, she was okay. The very next day, we were to celebrate Opa’s birthday in a restaurant. Suddenly Jean had fever again. I gave her paracetamol and she fell asleep. I thought, okay, nothing to worry about. Except for her food that she almost didn’t touch. We went home. I tried to feed Jean again, but she refused. Then she threw up, twice. The last one was like a lot, my cousin said. Then Aries held her until she fell asleep. I looked at her face, I saw how droopy she was and I was worried sick. I asked Aries to bring her to ER. At first he said I was over worried but I didn’t care. I needed to know what was going on with my baby. Off we went.

The ER doctor examined her, read her blood test result, then told us nothing to worry about, it was just her recovery process. Just continue with her treatment, she assured us. I was a bit relieved, plus Jean started to eat (all hail to potato!). Still, when the night crawled in, I touched her and I could tell, the fever hadn’t go away. This wasn’t good. But I decided to wait.

The next morning, I could barely slept that night, we were too tired and decided to let Ben stay at home instead of going to school. Around 9 am, Jean had diarrhoea. Twice. Then she slumped again. I called Aries and asked him to take her to hospital.

Hello again, ER!

The ER doctor was quickly responding, thank God. He coordinated with Jean’s peed and everything went quite fast from there. I felt quite numb seeing nurses trying to inject IV into Jean, she cried, she fought (still strong), but at the end the nurses triumphed. Then we were transferred to the room, class 2 (after down payment was paid, of course).

The first three days were the toughest. The first day felt like a dream. Seeing my baby, my little girl sitting there, staring at her hand with the IV needle, crying, refusing to eat or drink. The second day was almost the same. Unless she was a bit chirpy, although she still refused food or drink. All hail to breast milk! I got to confess, I felt a little bit comfortable on this second day. I mean, everything was under control. I didn’t have to cook, didn’t have to clean, even didn’t have to wash her. Help was just a button press away. Any time she threw out or got bad diarrhoea, I just pressed the magic button and voila, entered the frisky nurse. I started to felt overwhelmed the next day. Jean still had episodes of fever, still refused to eat, and even looked a bit stressed. My poor baby. The light of hope, however, shone on the fourth day. She was free from fever for 24 hours. Yet the peed asked us to stay 1 more night, to make sure everything was okay. I agreed, that was also my plan. My heart sunk when I felt her temperature was rising on the early morning. It was like 2 or 3 a.m., I asked the nurse to check and yes, she was 38 C. I almost broke down. Please, another night? The peed visited before 8 a.m., his face looked concerned and he wondered why would Jean had fever again. My best guess was because that night Jean could barely sleep because she was coughing so badly. Ozen (cetirizine) and granules med didn’t really help. I almost yelped when the peed asked me to stay one more night. Thank God he changed his mind and instead asked to run another blood test, if the result went good, we could go home, but if it wasn’t, you know what to do. Exactly my thought so I agreed quickly. I prayed unceasingly that morning, asking for moral support from some friends and family, too. The answer came not too long afterwards. “The result was good, you are clear to go home,” the peed texted me. I was dancing in joy! Yes!!!

Aries picked me up in no time, and oh how proud I was that Ben could sit nicely in that ugly waiting hall. We are together again, Jean is healthy again, gaining back her appetite. I do hope and pray you’re gonna be much healthier after this, Jean!


The Days When Jean Was Sick

So Jean was sick this week. Started on Sunday with mild fever, then suddenly spiked up at Monday and it went downhill on Tuesday morning, when she threw out yellowish slime – which turned out to be her stomach liquid or something like that.

There it went our Xin Jia plan. We rushed to emergency room that morning. Jean was given anal medication of ibuprofen, and then the ER doctor offered to check her blood. Personally I found it a little bit unusual, since it was only the second day of fever, but who cares in that moment, I agreed.

The result wasn’t great. It was bad, actually. Her leukocyte and CRP level went through the roof and the doctor suggested her to be hospitalized. Aries and I took time to discuss. He preferred Jean to be treated at home, since he wasn’t sure Jean would receive the IV lightly. He just couldn’t bear the image of his daughter crying and rejecting the IV, trying to pull it away, so, no, we wouldn’t admit her, at least not that day, and decided to take her home and return to her pediatrician the very next day.

We met Dr. Edward, Jean’s ped since day 1. He explained that she needed to be admitted for a faster recovery process, but he wouldn’t make us to, so he added the antibiotic dosage plus some other meds. He did give us warning, when Jean appears limp, refuses to drink, and no wet diapers, we must immediately take her to hospital. That day, we went home with a heavy heart.

And so day by day, we religiously fed her meds. I really didn’t have heart but I talked myself in, this is for her own good. I am so proud of her, how she willingly taking in her meds.

Slowly, the fever subsided. It kept lowering in both frequency and duration. Jean appeared healthier, she ate more each day (thank God for papaya whenever she didn’t finish her main course), she slept more each day, and she kept getting energetic each day.

One day, while she was sleeping, my mind was entertaining this negative thinking and I broke down and cried. I prayed, “God, please heal Jean. I miss my happy cheeky daughter, I miss seeing her dancing, humming, I miss her smile.” I cried for some more and I stated how I trusted God, I admitted He is Lord over us, He is sovereign and He is sovereign upon science. That very day, He answered my prayer. Jean was happily dancing and humming and smiling that day. My heart was so full.

Today, four days after the ER visit – though it feels like forever – we went to Dr. Edward again and he gave Jean a clean bill of health. She doesn’t need to be hospitalized, just continue and finish the meds. HALLELUJAH. To add our delight, he didn’t charge us his service 🙂

So it’s been like 18 hours since her last fever, the longest in the last 5 days. Thank you, God! Thank you, Doc! 

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The Laughing Phoenix

Life through broken 3D glasses. Mostly harmless.